The State Government’s enthusiastic embrace of driverless car technology is getting serious this week with the introduction of new measures to allow trials on Adelaide roads.

With initial tests on a closed-off Southern Expressway set for November coinciding with a conference on the technology, new legislation has been introduced to allow further tests to be run out on open public roads. As InDaily reports, the move is being driven by Transport Minister Stephen Mulligan, who visited Google’s California research base and seems thoroughly impressed by advances in the technology.

But don’t worry, Adelaide won’t be transformed into a humanless, fully-automated wasteland a la Pixar’s Cars just yet. As part of the new amendment any trials will have to be publicly advertised, heavily insured and approved by the Government before going ahead. “It is critical that the public has confidence that these trials will operate safely on our roads,” Mulligan has said.

But now that SA is clearing the path for the potential roll out of this futuristic technology, what else can we expect from this brave new technological utopia?

1. South Australia’s time zone is revised to put us an hour in front of Sydney and Melbourne – ‘cause we’re so futuristic

Why be stuck in the middle when we can leave those pesky eastern states eating our dust (technically) in the past?

2. The Clipsal 500 gets a lot less exciting as driverless V8s follow the speed limit and navigate around the track via precise computer algorithms

The Skaifebot 3000 will efficiently achieve victory with a minimum of spills and/or thrills.

3. Southern Expressway to get third interdimensional lane

You will have to time your return journey for afternoons though – for now it’s an alternating one-way lane.

4. The pie floater abandoned as our favourite dish in favour of the pie ‘hoverer’

5. The Britannia roundabout is constantly empty as advanced car computers calculate that it just isn’t worth it

Nope, nope, nope.

6. Cranky motorists now have extra time to abuse cyclists, each other

7. Bookworm can finally hoon despite being unable to use a steering wheel

Not that he would because he is a very respectable worm.

8. The State Government to introduce Australia’s first psychic crime fighting unit

As Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise proved the two advancements really go hand in hand.

9. Driverless food trucks will be more efficient but arguably lose a certain charm

Transformers: Robots Serving Fries, coming to a laneway near you!

10. Adelaide Metro launch indignant ad campaign pointing out you’ve never had to drive buses or trams

Go Zones to be renamed “Fine. Whatever.” Zones.

11. Melbourne steal our new driverless car scheme and we hold a grudge about it for the next few decades

It is inevitable.

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